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05 January 2011 @ 02:01
Fanfic - Hollyoaks - Brendan/Ste - A Tidal Wave Of Violence  
Title: A Tidal Wave Of Violence
Rating: R
Pairing/Characters: Brendan/Ste (Brendan's POV), Warren Fox, Danny Houston
Disclaimer: Hollyoaks is not mine, bah.
Summary: My take on what was going through Brendan's mind as he murdered Danny Houston to protect Ste.
Word Count: 425
Notes/Warnings: Murder, mentions of domestic abuse.
Comments: I absolutely adore this storyline. Their relationship is so dark and messed up, but when Brendan allows himself to have those special moments with Ste the chemistry is electrifying! If you haven't seen the storyline and want to catch up/start following you can watch it all HERE

Each blow Brendan lays into Danny is akin to a blow into himself. He screams at the rotten gangster to shut up, over and over again, but deep down Brendan knows he’s actually screaming at himself. At the images now filling up his mind. Memories of him in blood red Technicolor. They come in thick and fast and the tidal wave of emotions overwhelms him. He can’t handle all of these at once. He can barely handle one on it’s own usually. He had trained himself to control them, to tightly bottle them up and cast them aside. Yet ever since he arrived in Hollyoaks and met him, Brendan gradually began to feel that control slipping away through his fingers like sand from the beach. Now was the breaking point. When all those corks on all those bottles began to pop in spectacularly violent style.

He knows his screaming is futile. All the memories flood back regardless. All the times they enjoyed each other’s company. The rare moments Brendan let himself watch him from across the bar and feel a warm fondness for him. All the times he just wanted to grab him, push him against a wall and just have him there an then, along with all the times he actually did.

Then there were the other times he grabbed him and shoved him around. The times when all Brendan could see in Ste’s eyes were fear, anxiety and confusion as he viciously clawed, smacked and punched into that perfect body. Those moments cut into Brendan the worst. Those moments of mindless, unprompted aggression fuelled by his own self-hatred and taken out on the only one he loved.

That thought drives the violence to a bloody climax. Letting himself think that word, that big, stupid, dirty word, only makes himself angrier. Makes him feel helpless to that word’s overwhelming power. Makes him even more regretful of how he treated Ste. Makes him hit Danny even harder.

Eventually Warren pulls him away from Danny. Brendan had forgotten his presence during his blind sea of rage. He feels the blood surging through his veins as he staggers back slightly and pants while Warren crouches down next to the attacked man and presses his fingers to his neck.
“He’s dead,” Warren says.
The words have weight, but they’re not heavy on Brendan’s shoulders. The scumbag deserved to die. For what he did to Vinnie all those years ago. For what he threatened to do next. Brendan has a much heavier word on his mind. A name. Stephen.
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Radiohead - Wolf at the Door | Powered by Last.fm
(Deleted comment)
__♥..Jemz-y Baby..♥__: Brendan Pyschotic Tea Drinkerjemzamia on 5th January 2011 19:42 (UTC)
Gosh, thanks! :D
clomoo: Brendanclomoo on 5th January 2011 17:31 (UTC)
Superb. You've managed to package Brendan's insanely complex thoughts into this beautifully written fic. Great!
__♥..Jemz-y Baby..♥__: Brendan Pyschotic Tea Drinkerjemzamia on 5th January 2011 19:41 (UTC)
Wow, thank you so much! :D
thriae5: Merlin & Arthurthriae5 on 13th January 2011 00:25 (UTC)
Hauntingly powerful. I think you've captured Brendans tortured soul perfectly. Thank you for sharing.
I pray the HO writers are as aware as we are of how great this pairing is.
__♥..Jemz-y Baby..♥__jemzamia on 13th January 2011 00:35 (UTC)
Awww thank you :)
Indeed. I find Brendan is absolutely fascinating as a character XD
Lynn: Snarry is love.hecates_wings on 3rd March 2011 22:14 (UTC)
LoveloveLOVED this! Very accurate characterization of Brendan, and good insight into what he might have been thinking that night.
__♥..Jemz-y Baby..♥__jemzamia on 7th March 2011 17:34 (UTC)
Thank you! :D
missteeq14missteeq14 on 13th December 2012 18:07 (UTC)
Beautiful!! The things Brendan would do for Stephen..oh the love!
__♥..Jemz-y Baby..♥__jemzamia on 13th December 2012 21:46 (UTC)
Thanks! The intensity of their relationship is one of the things I love about them! Thanks for reading! You're the first non-spam comment I've had in months!